Can it really be so difficult to wait?
Yes.

Is it so hard to communicate?
No.

How is it that these things come to pass?
Idk.

Why do I feel like hugging?

Why do I feel like singing?

Why am I so happy?

Why do I radiate joy?

I am blessed, truly.

I hope God keeps blessing me in every way possible.
I thank Him.

There is hope yet!
<3!

To a Man

This is to a man I once knew as a boy in our childhood/adolescence.

There is no where else I prefer to be
but in your arms, whole, free.
With flowers and stars
and chocolate bars in
our world I will be. ♥

Our world will make sense only to us
and maybe to those who know
how our private lives are held:
with caution, love, and, well,
hope for the future.

Hope that one day,
of all days,
we shall be together
in a sphere of humanity.
Of love.

A sphere of love and comfort and hope.

I pray for love.
I pray for peace.
I pray for love, for peace, for squirrels.

I will enjoy the times we shall have
together and make them last.

I will create the half of our world that belongs to me
and soften all the hard edges so that we may cradle
in the night. The day time is yours. Do with our days
what you will please. :)

Your side of things will be different from mine and I accept that.
And that is why I want to share this journey with you.

This journey called life.

Let's begin our adventure!

:D

<3!

I love my life so hard right now! :D This is the happiest I've been in a while. The bliss is amazing. I want to feel this feeling forever. *sigh*

On the other side of things, this is the most worried I've been in a while too, so let's just see what happens.

I am.

I am a walking contradiction. I am in love with life. I am linked to everything that surrounds me. I feel. I am. I create. I recreate. I am. I wait. I fill time. I feel space. I cry. I am. I am a walking contradiction.

I like my new room. Life is grand. I am slowly, but surely becoming a productive member of society. I have yet to find a job, but all is well. I auditioned for a movie, but I don't know what's going on with that yet. I really want to get my license asap so I can drive myself places I need to go. That's important. I'm a little stressed because I have yet to organize my room. I'd like to get my life together and going asap. Where I'll end up only time will tell and only God knows. I'm staying strong. <3

Quotes

Me: "Today is one of those days when I just wanna watch Star Wars Episode 3 and cry... and maybe eat chocolate. Ugh!" Scout: "Wow, I have never heard that before!" Me: "Star Wars is as close as I get to a chick flick."

"Don't worry about him. In 4 months he'll be married to a slut anyways." -Sofia

"What is Vicky doing? She looks like she's in hell or something." -John KG

Me: I feel like a stalker! Nia: But you're an adorable stalker!

"I made my blankie into a cape 'cause it makes me feel more butch." -Thomas as Flavio

"Sometimes I think I dress like a homeless man who got lucky!" -Mario

"You're dressed like Barbie." -Mario to me. XD!

"I can't laugh. My neck hurts." -Jamie

"Snood eats my life." -Scout

"I love this movie so much. It was the first sound track I ever bought." -Sofia in speaking of 10 Things I Hate About You. My response: "Oh. Mine was Star Wars."

"You need to write Harlequin novels." -Boyd

"All the world's a stage..." -William Shakespeare.

"Wholesomeness=Awesomeness" -Me

"Maybe I could get rid of this ball of fat... But you know what it really is? It's just water. After having so many babies I just stopped getting rid of all that water. It's as if I'm clogged." -'Don~a Carmen,' 'Real Women Have Curves'

"This is a love/hate relationship."-Shamma "Yeah, she loves me and I hate her"-Derek

Music in Vivi's car going to Shama's apartment: Song: "apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur....she hit the floor!...."
Jennifer: "wait...did she trip?"

Kaylee in response to a French rap on Youtube: "Man, they seem high. They look and sound wasted. Did you notice they were French too?"

"Dude, at this point, I'm less worried about you having chemistry than him giving you some kind of disease... like f*ing the black plague." -Adam

"I peed right after mine. It was amazing." -Karla

"I want a guy that loves me for me, is willing to sing and dance in the rain with me, sings to me at random times, hugs me in the most random places, kisses me without warning, holds my hand the whole time when we're physically together, and is downright phenomenal in all aspects of his being." -Me

"What kind of a friend are you, Serge? if you don't think your friends are special?" -Marc, Art, Yasmina Reza

"I want a guy who has the balls to pursue me."

"Her hair would be cool if her face wasn't there." -Jesus

"I want someone who's just as crazy as I am."

Patricia once said: "I think it's a shame that so many people will judge others by their body, you know there's more to a girl then just her boobs! Plus I can find just as many things wrong with you. Example: Yeah I'm fat, so I can lose weight, what are you going to do about being so damn ugly?! You can't fix stupid!"

Me: "What up?" My friend: "Yo. Nutting." Me: "Hah! 'Nut.' 'Nutting.' HAHAHA! XD! <_< Sorry..." My friend: ".........................wow...."

A weekend adventure!

At Karla's apartment:
Walking in:
Me-*sees kitchen* What?! O_O
Karla-Yep. I told you.
Me-NASTY!!!

Later:
Me-It's SO hot! OMG! Is the air on? I just want to be dry! *tries to climb on her bed* *eventually succeeds*

Putting stuff in her car:
Karla-*opens trunk* What?! Mom, why is your whole office in the back of my car?

While watching tv in the kitchen at her house:
Karla- *pouring herself water from the fridge*
Claudia-*turned to tv*
Karla-*water overflows her cup onto the floor*
Me-OMG! Karla!
Claudia-What?!
Karla- I'm sorry! I was distracted by a Marine!

I keep thinking to myself, "Never settle," because that's what our motto was, and Roper was an awesome coach. *sigh* I feel like recently I've been settling for what's 'right' and not what I want to do. So I'm changing my philosophy on life a little. Now I'm going to do what feels right not what is necessarily the right thing to do but what makes me happy. Being happy is what matters in the end. Why settle for less?

I feel weird today. Like something big either just happened or is about to happen. Something illogical. Something strange. Something unreal. Idk. I feel weird. Meh... I wish I had a car. I'd go hang out with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted wherever I wanted. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to wait til next year. I hope my life doesn't change too much. I like my life now. But I guess change has to happen. If I'm comfortable then I'm not growing and if I'm not growing then I'm not happy. So therefore, change is good.

I'm so logical. I hate it! I have decided to change my philosophy on life a little. I'm going to do what makes me happy. I hope it works. I've only ever tried it once or twice before and it worked. I mean, not that I don't do what makes me happy, but I mean, I'm going to stop being so reasonable. It's about time I take my chances!

I hope this isn't too bad. :D :D :D I hope this is gonna be good! :D :D :D :D :D

Everyone warns me about you. Tells me you're bad news. I know you're bad, but I don't know... I still think there's something there. Something that keeps me around. WHY?! Why do I want to see the good in you?! Is there ANY good in you?! Why are you afraid of me? Are you afraid that I can see right through you? Are you afraid of me or are you just playing games? I'm not playing games. I've been honest since the beginning, and you know it! You know I've been sincere. Is that what scares you? My honesty? That I'm not afraid of showing my affection? That I can see things for what they are? That I can see that you don't want to allow me in your life any more than what you have because you're afraid I might hurt you? I wouldn't hurt you. You KNOW I wouldn't. Or is THAT what you're afraid of? Finding in me someone who won't hurt you. Who wants only the best for you? Who is willing to go out of their way for you? Just for you? Is that what scares you?! I just don't understand what it is you want from me. What do you want from me? This is torture. I don't like this. It's time you came clean. You're hurting me more than you will ever know. You playing games with me got old real fast. I've had you all figured out for a while now. I hate that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I hate to ruin your little game here, but isn't honesty what all our parents taught us? Isn't love and respect the number one thing every religion teaches? You told me once that religion is important to you. It sure doesn't seem like it. You haven't been honest. You haven't shown me any respect. What kind of sick, twisted upbringing did you have?! Where did you even COME FROM?!

I've done nothing but vegetate today. And clean. And get online. And listen to music. I'm kinda bored. I could do something, but I feel like I need some human interaction. :( I haven't had human interaction all day... except a text or two, but still. I'd like for someone to call me to hang out. I'm usually the one calling others, so I'm seeing if anyone wants to hang out with me. We'll see, I guess... *sigh*

Science In Science Out

house of leaves
good
creepy
challenging
stalking
freaky
foot notes

athens
bands
music
tasty world
athfest
summer
friends
games
parties
events
michael jackson
mario
birthday
rusans
erin
camels
night stuffs

creating
recreating
analyzing
sparking
ideas
inventions
ineptitude
eptitudes
malnutrition
fish
omega-3
brain surgery
flagpole
baby brains
masochism
freaky potatoes
fruits
fruitcakes
halloween
witches
ghouls
pregnancy
adam
eve
creation
God.

bible
picture bible
Catholic bible
books
The Alchemist Series

alcoholism
environmentalists
vegans
tomatoes
mashed potatoes
gravy
turkey
thanksgiving
melting ice

agora
downtown
Vivi
Kelundra
Carole
fun
thriftstoring
costumes
costume shopping
stuff
crazy things
things no one needs
things no one wants

shakespeare
ray
minnesota
new york
italy
france
spain
gelato
chocolate
snoopy's
beards
crays facial hair
monsters
platypuses

Borders.
maniacal laughs
ordering out
choo choos
wrong
bad
not good
unhealthy
grapes
fruit
good
sunos
chocolate
dove
godiva
ghirardelli
starbucks
coffee
sissy drinks
fruit shakes
smoothies

Barberito's
mirrors.

shiny
reflective tape
glow tape
lining walls
favorite

light
miracles
angels
wings
tattoos
significance
identity
roots
multifaceted
blending
not blending
separating
integrating
ingrained
refusing
conformity
refusing conformity

nail polish.

Cats

Cats.
Kittens.
Kitties!
KITTY!

Cortona.
Gelato.
Rome.
Gelato.
Gelato?
GELATO!

Gelato di cioccolato fondente.

Oooh!
SNOOPY'S! gelateria!!!!

Mmm.
Gelato.

Kittens.
Cats.
Kats.
Kit-kats.
BReaks!

Peanutbutter.

Jelly.

Peanut butter-jelly!
*dances*

Princess Mononoke.
Boondock Saints.
STAR WARS!
Episode 1.

Queen Amidala.
Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman?
NATALIE!

Goats.
Fur.
Animated fur.
Difficult.

Mayonnaise.
Texture.
Sleep.

Goats.
Cats.
Ice cream.
NO!

Chocolate.
NO!

Kitty.
Wife.
Amazing.

Cats.
Allergic.

Nose bleeds.
UGH!

Friends.
Happiness.
Hugs.
Balance.

Rorschek!
Watchmen.
Graphic novels.

English majors.

Abominable Abdominals.

Sleep.

Kristin Kundert-Gibbs.
Meisner.
Repeat.
Water balloons!

Sleep.
Bed.
Pillow.
Delicious.

Dinner.
Sandwich.
Adetinpo.
Love.
Sweet tea!
Adetinpo?
Adetinpo.
ADETINPO!

Excited.

Nia.
Autumn.
Next year.
House.
New.

Molding.
Maturing.
Child.
Woman.
Woman?
Woman.
Woman!
Woman.

Car.
Legos.
Lego men.
Men.
Men???
Men.
MEN!
Man.
One.
A man.
Amen.
AMEN!

Heartbreak.
Love.
Heartbreak.
Love.
Ripping.
Tearing.
Love.
Love.
Love.

Next to Normal.
Love.
Next to Normal love.

Free.
Choice.
Pro choice?
Questionable.

Willing.
Unwilling.

Men.
Boys.
Men.
Boys.
Men.
Man.
A man.
One man.
One special man.
Who cares?
Who cares.
Who cares?!
One special man who cares.
Maybe here?
Not yet.
Not sure.
Not certain.
Why?
Why care now?
Who cares now?
Someone cares now.
Someone.
Must.
Always.
Care.

Sleep.
Snuggles.
Katelyn.
Hugs.
Kisses.
Love.
Warm.
Fuzzies.
Warm Fuzzies.
Band.
Music.
ATHFEST.

Being 21.
Crazy.

Special.
People.
Friends.
Friends are special people.
"What kind of friend, are you, Serge, if you don't think your friends are special?" -Marc?, Art.

Art.
A white wall with a blue dot.
Clyde blue.
Performance art!
WTF art!

Softness.

Animation.
Voice overs.
Next year.
Darth Vader.
Darth Maul.
Obi Wan.
Jedi.

"Look, the prostitutes are sad!" -Mario.

Mario.
Animation.
Cartoons.
Voice over book.
New York.
Studio.
Friendship.
Super Mario.
Luigi.
SCOUT!
STEVEN!

Religion.
Bracelets.
Rosary.
Mary.
Motherly.
Motherly love.
Mom.
Best friend.

Shoes.
Shoes?
Omg, SHOES!

Sleep.
Warm.
Fuzzy.
Pillow.
Sleep.
Pray.
Angel.
Guardian Angel.
Amen.
Amen?
Amen!
AMEN!
Men!
NO.
No.
No?
NO?!
No.
No men.
Just Kitty.
Ok.

Amen.

The Sith

The sith.
Dark.
Chocolate?
Dark chocolate.
Yes?
Yes.
Yes!

Vader.
Wait.
What?
Vader?
Vader.
Vader!

Jelly beans.
The purple kind.

Goats.
The fainting kind.

Whales.
Sharks.

Monkeys!

Green fire ants.

Meryl Streep.
Marlon Brando.
Darth Maul.

Unicorns.

Dark.
Sinister.
Sith.